Monday, March 26, 2007

Responsibility "Gene"

Why are certain people able to set clear boundaries and only take on the duties, tasks, and burdens that are truly theirs, while others feel compelled to step in and make sure things "turn out right?"

Is the latter a case of overresponsibility and what are the consequences of such actions? Are these people ripe for manipulation by those looking to move some responsibility off of their own plates? The latter often commit to performing a task and then blatantly ignore it. Are they just ambitious overreachers who we should cut slack since they have the big vision, or are they trading in the plaudits that come with signing up, knowing that when the rubber meets the road, one of those overresponsible types will jump into the breach to help them?

Can you stand by and watch something important you are associated with (like a presentation, a client meeting, or a planned family event) come to a disastorous end because the person responsible did not do his or her job? I have trouble not pitching in to make it better. Am I a team player, an enabler, or someone who likes the role of martyr? These are questions I have to ask myself.

I would appreciate any feedback, as I currently have run into this dilemma several times in the past couple of months. I do know that such overresponsible behavior seems to carry with it a simmering resentment, at least for me, that can't really be good for me or those I work with.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Shout out!

me said...

i think it is upbringing. early childhood affect personality . . those things a person is stuck with. the best we can do is learn the recognize our thought patterns we dont want, and try to feel how are those old emotions are affecting this decision.

i grew up like this, feeling i was responsible for everything. its because i was raised by wolves. it has taken me all my life to get this far, and i still cant do what i wrote up there - i can sometimes but not nearly enough. i cant express the awful things that have happened because of this mental pattern. i dont resent it so much as break down, feeling that i cannot get what i need and do what i am supposed to do according to those old feeling. in complete honestly, i have nearly died from it. my therapist, friends and family pulled me through, and so did finding out as much as i could about what other people - disinterested people - thought about my situation.