On Crises of Middle Life

I am feeling a strong ennui in my life. Each day seems a bit redundant, even pointless at times. I get up, go to work, solve problems, handle crises, and I am not sure what, if anything, it means. I talked with my friend and fellow psychologist Steve and he reminded me of something we learned many years ago in our graduate studies.

Erik Erikson, a German development psychologist and psychoanalyst, created the Stages of Psychosocial Development. Similar in structure to Freud's Stages of Psychosexual Development, Erikson looked beyond adolescence to the whole human developmental life span. Maybe there was something to learn here.

Erik Erikson

Erikson postulated eight stages of psychosocial development. Each is described as an Ego conflict that must be resolved. In mid-life, Erikson thought the primary conflict was Generavity vs. Stagnation.

This stage starts when you are in your late 20's and extends throughout your middle life (nowadays, often defined as 60 or 65). It is your productive years, and those who resolve their Ego conflict in the direction of Generavity do so by raising children, contributing to a productive work life, and taking part in community activities. Other activities that support Generavity include mentoring, teaching, writing, social activism, creative artistic expression or anything that satisfies the need to be needed.

However, if you don't resolve towards the Generavity pole, and instead slip into Stagnation, your life is characterized by a slide into self absorption, manifested by rejecting others and not really caring for anyone else. That seems to be the core: if you resolve your conflict towards Generavity, you create the ability to care within you - care about others, care about the planet, care about justice, care about truth and beauty - just the ability to give a damn.

Later psychologists have warned that a headlong rush into Generavity can lead to overextension (someone who is so busy they have no time for themselves). I don't know how I managed it, but I seem to be both overextended and stagnant at the same time. I find myself pumping innumerable hours into work, but I don't get any satisfaction from it, nor do I feel needed. I feel like a cog in a machine, to cliche' it.

Lately, I have found myself exhibiting signs of self absorption. I am more withdrawn from those around me, and I have turned to more hedonistic pleasures (drinking, gambling) to try and fill in some space within me. I think this is dangerous, and highlights the difference between being productive as defined by the GNP and being productive as good ol' Erik might have meant it.

What to do? I started a blog. Good thought starters are hard to come by, and I hope to toss some out. And I think I will look for a way to teach. I used to teach formally (college professor) and I have spent a good deal of my working life teaching informally. I have a granddaughter on the way, a built in reason to care and share.

Any thoughts on this subject are most welcomed.